


Till I See You Again

by breakatake



Series: Jamilton YouTuber/Band Au [9]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda, Hamilton - Miranda (Broadway Cast) RPF
Genre: Alexander’s heart is broken, Angst, Crying, Eliza met a girl??? She’s mentioned briefly, F/M, Goodbyes, James and Angelica & Hercules and Laf are the only couples who aren’t at stake rn, M/M, Ouch, Peggy doesn’t wanna leave John, Sadness, Tears, Thomas isn’t good at goodbyes, they vlogged the whole way to the airport, thomas is hurt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-01
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-08-11 02:58:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16467356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breakatake/pseuds/breakatake
Summary: It’s January 21st.The boys are leaving for the tour.Goodbyes are hard to write, I’m sorry.





	1. Reminiscing

**Author's Note:**

> I’m so sorry for this i’m gonna cry while i write this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everybody sleeps over and they talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m sad hi

They all had a sleepover the night before.

It was spent reminiscing and just talking about everything.

”Well, Liza met a girl!” Angelica screamed. Eliza’s eyes almost popped out of her head. 

”What?!” Alexander yelled and his smile grew wide. 

“Yes! Yes I did, okay?! Her name is Maria.” her cheeks turned pink and Alexander smiled, feeling happy for his best friend. “I’m the last sister to date somebody, it's sad.” 

“Peggy was about to be.” Lafayette muttered and John glared at him. 

”John almost cried when he met Peggy because he thought she was so pretty. He was so nervous he forgot his own name, he literally introduced himself as George Laurens.” Hercules laughed and John threw something at him and muttered something about hating him for embarrassing him.

James snickered. ”Thomas was like that with Alexander, he’s a nervous gay.” 

”We knew.” Alexander mumbled and smirked at his boyfriend, who pinched his stomach gently.

Alexander smiled, watching all of his friends. Suddenly, he felt his heart sink. He wouldn’t be able to do this for a  _long time. They would be gone for 10 months on tour and he didn’t know how to feel._

It was bittersweet. He was obviously super excited to go on tour, of course. It was his dream. But, he was leaving everything behind. He didn’t want Thomas to leave him, he was scared that Thomas would leave him for somebody else when he went on tour. He was afraid that he’d find somebody. He was afraid his friends would forget about him. He was afraid this would all backfire.

But happiness was about taking risks, right?

Thomas nudged him.

”You okay?” He asked in his ear.

Alexander just nodded at him and kissed his hand, squeezing it tightly. 

———

A few hours later, all of his friends were asleep and Thomas and Alexander snuck upstairs just to sit on the couch and talk because Alexander felt upset. 

Thomas was laid on his back and Alexander was on top of him with his head on his chest. He drew small circles in his chest and he bit his lip.

”I’m starting online school on monday.” He mumbled and Thomas nodded, but didn’t say anything. He wanted to hold Alexander and just  _feel him_ for as long as he possibly could until the boys went off to London the next morning. Alexander could hear Thomas’ breath hitch and he didn’t say anything, he just rubbed his chest. 

Alexander felt a lump in his throat as his hand slid down Thomas’ chest and he clutched his boyfriend’s shirt tightly. He squeezed his eyes shut and he bit his lip, breathing Thomas in and he felt Thomas hold him tighter, even closer. 

“Everything’s going to change.” 

Thomas heard Alexander mumble this and Thomas finally let a tear slide down his cheek. He ran his finger through Alexander’s soft hair and he nodded. 

“You’re going to live your dream.” Thomas sounded bittersweet. “But you’re leaving me behind, and I can’t help but be selfish. I hate myself for that, you know?” He wondered aloud and Alexander nodded, just listening to his boyfriend speak. He listened to the sound of his voice and felt the vibrations through Thomas’ chest. He would miss that. 

“I won’t be able to hold you like this. I won’t be able to kiss you.” Thomas went on about how badly it was hurting that Alexander would be gone for so long. “I can’t do it, Alexander. I can’t.” He whimpered and held him tightly and Alexander looked up, feeling anxiety course through his veins. 

_He can’t do it? What the hell does that mean?_

”W-what-“

”You’re in a band, Alexander. There’s so many other people you could be with.” Thomas knew he sounded insecure, but he didn’t care. He wanted Alexander to know that he didn’t want to hold him back. “You’re going to live your dream and I don’t want to hold you down when you could be-“

”Thomas you are my fucking dream, stop being insane.” Alexander sat up on his stomach and looked down at his boyfriend-who did sound like he was breaking up with him. Thomas had tears flowing down his cheeks and Alexander did as well, his chest aching at the thought of Thomas leaving. 

“So fucking what if I’m in a band? You do YouTube. What if this was the other way around and you were leaving?” Alexander tried his best to put it into perspective. “You wouldn’t want me to leave you. Thomas, I love you. Nothing can change that.” Alexander wiped his own tears and he leaned down, wiping a tear from Thomas’ cheek. He leaned down and pressed a sweet kiss to his lips and he leaned his forehead against Thomas’ own. 

 “I won’t give up on us, Thomas. Not for a fucking second.”

Thomas felt a sob shake through his body and Alexander hugged him tightly, making him sit up. 

“I don’t want to leave you, but I have to. I’m living my dream and you’re going to be on my mind 24/7. Don’t doubt for a second that you’re everything I’ve ever wanted and that I love you.” Alexander whispered, sniffling quietly. 

“I’ll stay if I’m what you choose..” Thomas sang under his breath and Alexander chuckled breathily through his tears, wondering how his boyfriend could quote a musical even in a sad moment such as this. 

“Can we be seventeen?” Alexander whispered and leaned his forehead against Thomas’, intertwining their hands. 

“You’re the one I choose.” Alexander sang and he pressed a kiss to Thomas’ lips. “You’ll always be my dream come true, okay? I love you.”

Thomas just nodded. He didn’t need to say it back for Alexander to know he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :) more angst coning ur way


	2. I’ll Be Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ouch. i’m sorry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SO SORRY  
> THIS IS WHERE THE LONG ASS STORY WILL START BTW :-)   
> THE NEXT STORY WILL BE CH 1 OF THAT

It was a sad kind of day.

It was pouring outside. It was about 6 am and everybody was getting ready to head to the airport. George and Martha would be going to stay in the London house with the boys, but the rest of the parents would stay home.

The boys’ parents all came to the airport to see them. 

Everybody drove in their separate cars to the airport. 

Thomas and Alexander sat together in complete silence, holding hands and just being with each other as this was the last time they would see each other for awhile. Alexander kissed Thomas’ hand and then leaned up to kiss his lips. Thomas kissed him back softly and he pulled back and mumbled “I love you, my prince.” 

Alexander blushed.

That was probably the first time he smiled since their little conversation the night before. 

When they got to the airport and made it through security and everything, they all sat together and talked, saying their goodbyes. Alexander went one by one to his friends. First, he went to James.

Alexander reached up and locked his arms around James’ neck, who hugged the middle of his body in response.

”Make sure Thomas doesn’t keep himself in the room all day.” Alexander mumbled. “I’m going to call as much as possible, but there’s time zones so it’ll be off.” he sighed into James’ shoulder. “And you,” he looked at James and took his shoulders. “Take care of yourself and Angie. Please? Make sure you eat properly and sleep and remember to do your asthma pump at the same time every single day and-“

”Alex.” James chuckled. “I’ll be okay. I love you.” Alexander just hugged him in response.

Next was Angelica. 

“Make sure you eat.” Angelica reminded Alexander and he laughed softly under his breath, wiping his eyes. “And sleep. And don’t stay up until 4 am every night, and actually take care of yourself.” Angelica laughed, but she sounded like she was going to cry.

Alexander hugged her tightly. “I’m going to miss you so badly. Please call me as much as possible and tell me everything, okay?” Angelica nodded and kissed his cheek.

He headed to Eliza, who he admitted that he would miss the most besides Thomas. He had a special bond with her, they were almost like siblings. 

“Eliza, you mean the world to me make sure you stay safe and nothing bad happens to you.” Alexander lectured and kissed her on the cheek. “I love you so much.” He continued telling her how much he’d miss her, both of them ended up crying by the end of it. 

Alexander went to Peggy last and he hugged her and mumbled “Don’t kill anybody while we’re gone.” as a joke and she punched him playfully. “I love you.” 

He finally went up to Thomas.

Thomas started down at Alexander and he took his hands. Alexander felt tears rush to his eyes and he started crying as soon as he saw Thomas’ face. Thomas reached down and scooped him into his arms, hugging him.

”I’m sorry, Alex. P-please. Live your dream.” Thomas choked out and Alexander just clutched onto him. Thomas debated for a second if he should do it or not. He didn’t sleep the night before because he knew it was going to end like this. He knew that there was going to be pain, he didn’t want it to hurt more than it already was. He decided to do it. 

“G-go.” Thomas whispered and Alexander pulled away and cupped his cheeks, shaking his head violently. 

Alexander went to speak but nothing came out.

”I don’t want to hold you back.”

”Thomas you’re not.” Alexander whispered and he started to sob, his heart cracking in his chest and he started to feel nauseous. 

Thomas nodded and he started to cry more, his whole body shook. 

“Go, please, Alexander. I’ll be here waiting when you come back but you need to do this alone. You go your way and I’ll go mine,” Thomas started. “If i’m the end we end up together, it’s beautiful.” He whispered and Alexander almost screamed. He grabbed Thomas’ face and smashed his lips onto Thomas’. Alexander kissed him with all of the passion he had in his body, he kissed him so passionately their lips felt numb and he held his cheeks so tightly in his hands that they started to ache.

Alexander pulled away and looked at him in the eyes. “You are my dream, please don’t do this.” He shakily spoke and Thomas shook his head.

”I have to do this. I love you, I’ll see you again. I’ll be here, I’ll always be here.” Thomas spoke and he pulled away from Alexander who tried to grab him again.

Alexander felt his heart crack into pieces as Thomas pulled away from him. He was leaving him. He told him he wouldn’t leave he promised.

“Thomas don’t leave. Thomas please.” He begged and he begged, almost getting on his knees until he heard his flight being called.

Hercules walked over and grabbed Alexander's hand.

”Let’s go.” 

Alexander looked at Thomas and he reached one hand out.

”I’ll be here when you come back, I promise.”

They boarded the plane and Thomas watched as his boyfriend - now ex - got on. As soon as he did so, he fell to his knees and started to sob so hard that he shook and James rushed to his side. 

“Thomas?! Thomas?” James shook him gently and hugged him. “What happened?!”

”I broke up with him.”

———

As soon as they sat in their seats, Alexander curled up into a ball on his chair and he started to cry again. John put his hand on his knee and gently stroked it.

”Call him when we get there.”

Alexander looked at him.

”I can’t.” He answered simply and John looked at him weird.

”He broke up with me.”

John’s jaw dropped.

All he did was hold his best friend in his arms as he sobbed until he eventually fell asleep. 

———

Later that night, Thomas was laying on the ground in his basement with James, Peggy, Angelica, and Eliza because nobody trusted him to be alone in the moment. 

“I hope he knows that I’ll always be here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m so sorry lol

**Author's Note:**

> ouch ):


End file.
